Sabotoge

I think that one of my biggest problems is that I sabotage myself - regularly. I really do love my life - really!!! I am grateful for all that I have - but, sometimes I feel like I have too much (to do that is). Anyway, the slightly ungrateful part of me behaves foolishly from time to time, ok, a lot of the time. When I get frustrated, I turn to sugar - sweets and soda pop are my 2 favorites. Thank goodness it's not alcohol and cigarettes, right? Anyway...remember, I have 5 children. That means, I've been pregnant and given birth to 5 children. Last year I turned 40. I've found that it's not as easy to return to my prepregnancy size and shape this time around as it was in the past. Don't get me wrong, it could be worse. I'm not the size of a house or even a horse, yet. But, if I don't stop sabotaging myself, every time I get frustrated, I'm afraid of how this is going to end. I've never had a "belly" - well, outside of being pregnant. Now I have what I would call a muffin-top. Gross! Seriously, a muffin-top. That is not an attractive look. So, I've started working out with the Kinect - because I can't get out of the house to go and work out somewhere else. The Kinect workout program is really amazing. It tracks your movements with incredible accuracy and the workout is pretty intense, yet still fun. And, usually within 10 minutes, I have helpers assisting me with my workout. It starts like this...I try to sneak downstairs. They notice I'm missing and then I hear "Hey Mom, whatcha doing?" "Hey guys, Mom is working out." "Come on, everyone, downstairs!" They like to cheer me on, and point out how my person on the tv doesn't look quite like the trainer on the tv - "wow, thanks guys." They also like to "dance" around in front of the camera so they can be on the screen too - and the baby usually ends up at my legs, arms up, waiting to be picked up. It looks like I've grown extra appendages in the picture on the screen - sometimes it makes me laugh - sometimes it frustrates me - regardless, it won't ever change and really, I wouldn't want it any other way. The sad thing is, I'll feel good about the workout, but later in the evening, with the chaos that is involved in getting children down for the night, and then looking at the aftermath of a 5-kid tornado on the house, I usually want to down a Coke. Yummy - but not so great at helping one's body settle down for bed. And, since I'm up, how about eating a couple of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - you know, the one's I just had to buy since I was craving them when I went shopping last time. Uggg - I probably wouldn't have to bother with working out if I would just stop drinking the pop and eating the candy. More water, less pop - that's not so hard. Why is it so much easier to type it than to do it? I'm going to try - no pop this weekend. I may have to go stay in a hotel for the weekend - alone - so I can avoid my triggers that drive me towards the garage in search of another fix. Wish me luck...